翻译:744 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
-你紧张么？ -还挺紧张的 - Are you nervous? - I'm very nervous.
我之前说过 I was saying earlier...
这是我首次我坐下 看着放电影的银幕上 This is my first time l'll sit, and on the screen of a movie...
我的名字作为独立编剧出现 my name is the only name up, as sole writing credits.
- 这太令人兴奋了- 这是第一次和观众一起看 - That is exciting. - It's the first time with an audience.
这是第一次向我的朋友们放映 The first screening for... And all my friends.
当然还有业界的人士 And the industry people as well.
- 嘿 - 你好 - Hey. - Hello.
你好 克里夫 Hi, Cliff.
你能来我真高兴 I'm glad you could join us.
对不起来晚了 Sorry l'm late.
我只是找不到合适的衣服罢了 I just couldn't pick out an outfit.
别说啦 Just stop it.
这真的是事实 我没有在开玩笑 It's actually the truth. I'm not even joking.
- 我开车路过电影院 - 然后？ - I drove by the theater. - And?
我看到了灯牌了 I saw the marquee.
- 看起来怎么样呢 - 看起来棒极了 - And how does it look? - It looks great.
数字...是写的30 不是三十对吧？ The numbers... 30 Below. Instead of spelling that out?
我一会也要去把这个拍下来 I'm gonna get a picture of that, too.
是的 你需要把它拍下来 Yes, you have to get a picture.
- 今晚有大事发生 耶 - 是的呀 - This is a big night. Yeah! - It is.
非常激动 Very excited.
你是怎么想出来的这个主意？雪莉给我说了一些事情 Where did you come up with the idea? Shelley told me something about...
-克利夫科布 四人桌么？ -是的 - Cliff Cobb, table of four? - Great.
我理解全心全意去做什么 谢谢 You know, I understand what it's like... Thank you.
是怎样的感受 ...to do something that you put your heart and soul into.
如果你只是一个雇来的写手 那么整个过程将会不一样 The whole process is different if you're just a writer for hire...
嗨 谢丽儿的礼物完工了么 Hey, how's Sheryl's present coming?
它很好看 It's just beautiful.
我必须说的是 这是我做的最好看的项链之一 One of the most beautiful bracelets l've made, I have to say.
她的生日在周五 所以我 Her birthday's on Friday, so l...
- 你她生日之前可以收到的- 周四之前？ - You'll have it before then. - By Thursday?
- 没问题- 太棒了 十分感谢 - No problem. - Great. Thanks so much.
真的无法相信你已经 I can't believe you've been...
我已经想去亚马逊大概... l have been trying to get to the Amazon for...
你必须去一下 如果你感觉到 You've got to go. If you've been feeling that way...
尤其是河的西边 靠北一点 简直难以置信 Particularly west of the river, north a little, it's unbelievable.
而这只有一批人？ And is it just a bunch of people?
嗯 你和导游们在一个组 队伍庞大 Yeah, it's you and guides, in a group. It's a large group.
你只是去 You just go to...
我认为这个取决于你选哪家公司 l think it depends which company you go through.
他们会把来自不同的组放到一起去讲解介绍 They'll put together different groups to go out there and do it.
-那里的蛇很多么？ -那里什么千奇百怪的东西都很多 - Are there tons of snakes? - There's tons of everything.
这也就是你去的原因么？对不对 你会想看到这些并且 But that's why you go, right? You're gonna see it and...
我忘把餐布铺到腿上了 Forgot my napkin.
你知道 这是礼仪 You know, it's etiquette.
很重要 必须把餐巾放在大腿上面 Very important. Must put the napkin on.
把一张餐巾放在一条旧裤子上看起来很蠢 It seems silly to put a napkin on an old pair of pants.
除非遇到了一些很紧急的情况 ...unless it's some kind of huge emergency.
-可以点餐了么？-可以 - Are we ready? - Yes, please.
好的 我需要一份烤三文鱼 Okay, I think l'll have the grilled salmon.
好的 烤三文鱼 Grilled salmon, all right.
- 喔 我 也点一样的- 好的 - Yeah, me, too, actually. Same. - Okay.
- 我要西班牙海鲜饭- 有水准 - I'll have the paella. - Good choice.
我认为一份科布沙拉足矣 I think l'm just gonna get a Cobb salad.
好的 科布沙拉 Okay. Cobb salad.
如果可以的话我可以替换一些配料么 And I want to make just a couple of substitutions if that's okay?
- 当然可以 - 好的 - Sure. - Okay.
- 我不想要培根 - 不放培根 - I'll get no bacon. - No bacon.
不要鸡蛋 No eggs.
放轻松 Take it easy.
加点蓝纹奶酪 Blue cheese on the side.
- 你确定你要点科布沙拉么- 你应该点别的 - You sure want a Cobb salad? - You should get something else.
我点的是大卫独创沙拉 I'm getting a David salad.
是的 确实是大卫独创沙拉 Yeah, it is a David salad.
如果可以的话请帮我拌好 And l'll get agitation, if you can.
如果大厨不愿意这么做 摆脸色的话 And if the chef can't do this, if he makes a face at all...
- 请回来告知我 - 好的 - just come back and let me know. - Okay.
- 好的 谢谢你 - 感激不尽 - Okay, thank you. - Thank you very much.
你每次点那个沙拉都像刚才一样么？ Do you go through that every time you order that salad?
听起来像是你遇到了什么问题 Sounds like you're having a problem with that of some kind.
这很重要吗？有什么大不了的？ Is it a big deal? What's the big deal?
不 这很重要 这是我祖父创造的沙拉 It is. It's my grandfather's salad.
- 是呀 这很重要 - 于是 - And yeah, it is a big deal. - So...
这是你祖父发明的沙拉呀！ lt was your grandfather's salad!
- 我的祖父创造了科布沙拉 - 这是真的么？ - My grandfather created the Cobb salad. - Is that true?
我就是科布沙拉的"科布" I'm the "Cobb" of Cobb salad.
-他讲了很多次这个故事 -哦 天呀 - He's told this many times. - Oh, my God!
-是真的 -这故事编的不错 - It's true. - This is a nice little bullshit story.
不 我没有在说谎 No, I am not lying about this.
我的祖父是一个厨师 My grandfather was a chef. He worked all over...
那段时间他在德雷克酒店 and there was a time he was at the Drake Hotel...
在芝加哥工作 他会尝试不同的组合 working in Chicago and he would experiment with different combinations.
消息传出去了 And the word got out.
这就是科布沙拉的诞生过程 That's how the Cobb salad was born.
怎么了？这有啥好怀疑的？ What? Why is that so hard to believe?
这难以令人信服 It's just so unbelievable.
只是 很多人做你刚做的事情... It's just, so many people do what you just did...
然而我并不了然 and I just don't understand.
我可以告诉你的是 如果我们同桌就餐 我不会再这么做 I can tell you this, l'm not gonna do it again if you're at the table.
不 我道歉 我今晚有点兴奋 No, I apologize. I'm jumpy tonight.
电影呢 这 The movie, it's...
我刚才想"我点我的沙拉他操什么心？" l was thinking, "What does he give a shit about what l'm ordering in my salad?"
让我们...我们刚才在说什么？ 我们谈论了什么？ Let's... What were we saying? We were talking about what?
我想走出荒野 I want to get out in the rough.
对 亚马逊 Right. Amazon.
我有没有告诉你我的挚友去了南非？ Did I tell you that I have a very good friend that went to South Africa?
南非 太好了 我也去过那里 South Africa. Beautiful. I've been there, too.
他去那里打猎 He went for a hunting trip.
你知道 我祖父的名字是哈罗德宾果 You know, my grandfather's name was Harold Bingo.
他发明了宾果 你知道吗？ He invented Bingo. Are you aware of that?
你是四处扎营还是那有个大本营？ Do you move your camp or is it a base camp?
我没有在开玩笑 I'm not kidding.
他们甚至... They don't even...
我们可以谈天说地 他们根本不会知道 We can talk about anything, they don't have any idea.
让他们单独坐吧 Get their own table.
并没有什么不同 Doesn't make a difference.
他们会把你带到那里 让你近距离接近那些动物... They'll take you out there and get you so close to these animals...
- 我们什么时候应该去做爱 - 是的 我们可以 - We should have sex sometime. - Yes, we should.
真的么？ Really?
...当你在那里看着它... ...when you're right there and looking at it...
拉里 你还好么？ Larry, how you doing?
唐纳德 很高兴见到你 Donald, good to see you.
- 有什么改变？- 没有变太多 - What's new? - Well, not too much.
- 你呢？- 打很多场高尔夫球 - How about you? - Playing a lot of golf.
- 真的么？- 是的 - Really? - Yeah.
你知道么 我们应该找个时间去打一局 You know, we should play it sometime.
我不打高尔夫 I don't play golf.
- 什么时候开始的？ - 我不打很久了 - Since when? - I haven't played in a long time.
- 你再也不打高尔夫了么？ - 不打了 - You don't play golf anymore? - No.
拉里 别这样 Larry, come on.
听着 你什么时候改变主意 请告诉我 好么？ Listen, if you change your mind, let me know, okay?
-很高兴见到你 -嗯 - Good to see you. - Okay.
很高兴你能来看它 去入座吧 So glad you could make it to see it. Go get a seat.
- 听着 我去里边看看 - 好的 - Listen, l'm gonna check the house. - Okay.
看看发生了什么 See what's up.
你在哼什么歌曲？我没听过 What is that? I don't know that.
-瓦格纳作品 -真的么？ - It's Wagner. - Really?
这个叫齐格弗里德牧歌 It's called Siegfried Idyll...
这是瓦格纳写给他老婆科西玛的生日礼物 and he wrote it as a birthday present for his wife Cosima.
她早上醒来听见这美妙的乐章 She woke up in the morning and she heard this beautiful music...
她走到楼梯 就看到他正在指挥乐团演奏 and she came out on the landing and he was conducting this orchestra.
- 这太美好了 - 太浪漫了 - That is so beautiful. - So romantic.
喔 听这个 Yeah, listen to this.
这太好了 That's pretty.
打断一下 Excuse me.
你是犹太人吗？ Are you Jewish?
我是犹太人么？ Are you Jewish?
你想检查我的小兄弟？ 你想这么做么吗？ You wanna check my penis? Is that what you wanna do?
我真正想问的是 你刚才在吹什么 My real question is, what were you whistling?
- 《你好多莉》 - 不 是瓦格纳 - Hello, Dolly. - No, it's Wagner.
- 是不是呀？- 是 - Was it? - Yeah.
你 先生 赢了100美金 You, sir, won $100.
我想知道犹太人吹瓦格纳是为了... I wanna know what a Jew is whistling Wagner for...
你想知道么？ Do you wanna know?
他是世界上最知名的反犹太人之一 ...when he's one of the great anti-Semites of the world.
- 你知道你是什么？- 我是什么？ - You know what you are? - What am l?
- 你是一个自轻自贱的犹太人- 我吗？ - You're a self-loathing Jew. - Am l?
是的！ Yes!
我确实恨自己 但这与犹太人无关 I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish.
不 与犹太人没有任何关系 No, it doesn't have anything to do with being Jewish.
数百万犹太人被带到集中营... Those millions of Jews were taken to the concentration camps...
伴随着瓦格纳的播放 with Wagner being played in the background.
是的! 希特勒最喜欢的作曲家！ Yes! Hitler's favorite composer!
- 属实？ - 当真 - Really? - Yes.
这里的几个街区外有一个精神病院 They got a mental asylum a couple of blocks away.
我建议你去然后看一下病 I suggest you go and check yourself in.
你的犹太精神呢？ Where's your Judaism?
犹太精神？你在哪里？ Judaism? Where are you?
你在哪里 犹太精神？ Where are you, Judaism?
你哪来的这种态度？觉得自己就比其他人都强？ How can you have this attitude? That you're better?
他们应该给你带个口套 你的唾沫都喷出来了 They should put a muzzle on you. You're foaming at the mouth.
行了 谢谢你 Please, thank you.
你好好反思一下吧 好吗？ That's something you need to think about, all right?
- 嗨 你好吗？ - 发生什么事了？ - Hi, how are you? - What's going on?
- 一切顺利？- 不 - Everything all right? - No.
-但我很期待你的电影 -我很高兴你能来 - But l'm looking forward to your movie. - I'm so glad you're here.
入座吧 我很高兴你在这里 Get a seat. I'm so glad you're here.
- 一切都顺利吗？- 你认识那个人吗？ - Is everything all right? - You know that guy?
- 那是沃尔特 - 沃尔特？ - That's Walter. - Walter?
是的 他住在你们旁边 离你们两条街的邻居 Yeah, he lives right by you. Two streets away in your neighborhood.
- 这令人欣慰- 他真的很讨厌 - That's comforting. - He's really obnoxious.
我们需要入场了 这边 We should get a seat. Come on.
吃东西声音能小点么 Can you keep it down?
哼 我有权吃爆米花 Hey, l'm allowed to eat popcorn.
别打盹 Stop it.
我太累了 对不起 I'm tired. I'm sorry.
我太受触动了 I just welled up.
可喜可贺 Mazel tov. Mazel tov.
恭喜 Congratulations.
克里夫 喔 天呀 Cliff, oh, my gosh!
-这太棒啦 -恭喜恭喜 - That was wonderful. - Congratulations!
我想说 完美 I mean, perfect.
-做的太棒啦 -十分感谢你 - Great job. - Thank you very much.
精彩绝伦 Fantastic!
我不敢相信你让那个哥们潜在冰冷刺骨的水里 I can't believe that you had that guy dive into that ice-cold water.
- 你喜欢那一段？- 是的 我的意思是 太棒了！ - You liked that? - Yeah. I mean, my God!
我知道那太冷了 因为你可以看见他们嘴里出来的烟气 I know it's freezing 'cause you can see the smoke coming out of his mouth.
那是烟么？在冷水里什么东西会从你的嘴里冒出来？ Is it smoke? What comes out of your mouth in cold water?
- 那是呼气 - 但是看起来像烟气 - It's breath. - But looks like smoke.
你真的喜欢那一幕么？ You really like that?
-我刚和你说过喜欢了 - 是呀 好的吧 - I just told you I like it. - Yeah, all right.
- 我认为那很棒- 此话当真？ - I thought it was good. - Really?
那很棒 It was good.
我们需要去喝一杯了 你们呢 We should go out for a drink, you guys.
拉里 恐怕不去 是不是？ Larry, probably not, right?
明天对你来说是个大日子 他今晚要睡足 You have a big day tomorrow. He has to get his sleep.
你明天要干什么呀？ What you got going on tomorrow?
没事做 我只是随便坐坐 然后无所事事 Nothing, l'm just sitting around. I'm not doing anything.
- 我没正事 - 我们也很累了 - I don't have a big... - We're tired, too.
明天 我随便坐坐 无所事事 Tomorrow, l'm sitting around. I'm not doing anything.
随便坐坐？ Sitting around?
听着 谢谢你的出席 Listen, thank you for coming.
- 嗨 做得太好了 - 希望你喜欢 - Hey, great job again. - Hope you liked it.
再见咯 Bye.
- 我想看看那些照片- 我会把照片发给你的 - I want to see those pictures. - I'll get you the pictures.
一切都很完美 你应该感到骄傲 And everything was perfect. You should feel so proud.
你开心么？这真的太棒了 Are you happy? It was really great.
是的 我喜欢它 老实说我很喜欢 我认为真的太好看了 Yeah, I loved it. Honestly, I did. I thought it was really good.
- 你在和谁讲电话 - 旺达 - Who are you talking to? - Wanda.
不 电影真的很棒 No, it was really good.
我爱电影的每一分钟 我看到拉里打哈欠 I loved every minute, and then I look over and Larry's yawning.
什么？我 What? I...
他邀请我们去看这部电影 He invited us to this movie.
电影不无趣 我打哈欠是因为...人不能太累而打哈欠么？ I wasn't bored. I was yawning because... Can't somebody be tired and yawn?
我的意思是那是生理反应 I mean it's a biological function.
- 他邀请我们去的 - 并不一定意味着你很无聊 - He invited us to that screening. - Doesn't necessarily mean you're bored.
我认为这很无礼 I thought it was rude.
我以为是 而且当然了... I thought it was. And, of course...
十分无礼 Really rude.
你知道克里夫是谁么？克里夫科布 You know who Cliff is? Cliff Cobb.
是的 一个坐轮椅的帅小伙 Yeah, that cute guy in the wheelchair.
所以我们在大厅跟他说话 So we're in the lobby and we're talking to him...
然后每一个人都在向他道喜 他度过了一个美好的夜晚 and everyone's congratulating him and he's having this great night...
然后他问了拉里他明天要做什么 and he asks Larry what he's doing tomorrow...
拉里告诉他只是坐在那里 and Larry says that he's just sitting around.
而不是告诉他去打高尔夫 Instead of just telling him he's playing golf...
他说不出来他要去打高尔夫 He can't say he's playing golf...
拉里告诉他自己会随便坐坐 he tells him that he's gonna sit around.
因为我不想让他感到不舒服 为什么我要说我计划出去？ 'Cause I don't wanna make him feel bad. Why should I say l'm going out?
如果我残疾 我想让人们告诉我... If I was handicapped, l'd want people to tell me...
他们坐在那里 that they're sitting around.
"哦 我要出门了 打高尔夫 骑马" "Oh, l'm going out, going golfing, or horseback riding..."
你向他撒谎舒服么？ You feel good that you're lying to him?
如果我在玩跳棋 我会告诉他我正在玩跳棋 If I was playing checkers, l'd have told him I was playing checkers.
- 他尝试着让克里夫感到开心 - 这是件好事 - He was trying to make Cliff feel good. - That's a good thing.
为什么你要告诉另外那人你不打高尔夫球了 Why'd you tell the other guy that you're not playing golf?
因为克里夫就在我的旁边 Because Cliff was right next to me...
所以我不希望克里夫听到我正在打高尔夫球 so I didn't want Cliff to hear that l'm playing golf.
而且说老实的我本来就不想和他一起打 I don't want to play with that guy anyway to tell you the truth.
我不会和他一起打高尔夫球的 I won't play golf with that guy.
他疯了！ He's out of his mind!
我明白 他认为他在做一件大好事 I know, he thinks he's doing a really good thing.
好的 必须的 好 我要挂电话了 再见 Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I gotta go. Bye.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.
欢度万圣节 Happy Halloween.
有节日氛围吧? Festive?
嗨 很好 你是要去打高尔夫球么？ Hey, very nice, you're going golfing?
事实上是的 Yeah, actually.
- 你看起来很时髦 - 是么？ - You look very snazzy. - Yeah?
你这么穿挺好的看的 我喜欢 This is a good look on you. I like it.
谢谢 我不喜欢把上衣掖进去 打高尔夫才要 Thank you. I don't tuck in that much. Golf makes me tuck in.
- 上衣掖进去的你看起来不错 - 我很少掖进去 - You look good tucked in. - I'm rarely tucked in.
有留言么？ Any messages?
你的心理咨询师打来电话 希望你把预约提前一个小时 Your therapist called. They wanna move your appointment up an hour.
所以请给他们回电 然后有一个雪莱科布的电话 So please call them. And Shelley Cobb called.
嘿 手链也许做好了 Hey, the bracelet might be ready.
- 嘿！- 哦 我的天 - Hey! - Oh, my God.
谢丽儿收到这个礼物应该会惊呆了 Cheryl is gonna flip out when she gets this thing.
我希望我可以录下这个精彩瞬间 I wish I could videotape this reaction.
但是我并不会使用录像机 But I don't know how to work a video camera.
我的意思是 这也需要花一些时间去学会 I mean, it really took some time to do this thing, too.
- 这是我想要你做的事情 - 好的 - Here's what I want you to do. - Okay.
我希望你上网帮我找一些信息关于 I want you to go on the lnternet and get some information for me...
科布沙拉 on the Cobb salad.
谁发明了它 源自何处 Who invented it, where it comes from...
好的 我现在就查 Okay, l'll get on that right now.
- 好的 看看你能找到些什么 - 马上 - All right. See what you can find out. - Right away.
雪莱 嗨 我是拉里 Shelley. Hi, it's Larry.
嗯 很有意思 Yeah, a lot of fun.
重复一下 告诉克里夫我们有有多享受这部电影 And again, tell Cliff how much we enjoyed it.
那真的是一部好作品 That was really a good piece of work there.
嗯 好 Yeah. Okay.
我们应该去 我会告诉谢丽儿的 We should go out. I'll talk to Cheryl.
只有你和我么？ Just you and me?
哦 天呀 Oh, my God.
雪莱 不 这 Shelley, no. That was...
不 那只是一个玩笑 因为他们说个不停 No, that was just a joke because they were talking so much.
这只是针对他们开的玩笑 It was like a joke for their benefit.
哦 天哪 不 Oh, my God, no.
不 那只是一只胳膊 我只是伸了胳膊 No. That was just an arm. I was just stretching my arm.
不是那样的 哦 不 雪莱 That didn't... Oh, no, Shelley.
不 雪莱 当然不是！ No, Shelley, of course not!
雪莱 你不要 Shelley, you don't...
不 那不是真的！ But no, that's not true!
但是手镯呢？雪莱！ But what about the bracelet? Shelley!
拉里？一切都好么？ Larry? Is everything okay?
- 沙拉的事情？- 是的 - The salad stuff? - Yeah.
"科布沙拉创造于好莱坞具有传奇色彩的布朗德比餐厅" "The Cobb salad was created at the legendary Brown Derby in Hollywood."
餐厅所有者 鲍勃科布 一天晚上饿了 The owner, Bob Cobb, was hungry one night.
在午夜 他下了楼 In the middle of the night, he went downstairs...
然后他创造了它 and he came up with it.
这不是在芝加哥的德雷克酒店么？ It wasn't the Drake Hotel in Chicago?
不 是在好莱坞 你还记得这个 No, it was in Hollywood. You remember that...
给我看一下 Let me see that.
- 发明于好莱坞的布朗德比餐厅 - 是的 - Created at the Brown Derby in Hollywood. - Right.
我朋友克里夫科布骗我关于科布沙拉的诞生 My friend Cliff Cobb lied to me about the Cobb salad!
他的祖父没有创造它 His grandfather didn't invent it.
是鲍勃科布！ Bob Cobb did!
- 不给糖就捣蛋 - 看看你 - Trick or treat! - Look at you.
给你们 There you go.
再见 Bye.
这些孩子太可爱啦 你想给他们发糖么？ Those kids are really cute. You wanna do some?
- 你想对换一下么 - 是呀 你可以发一些 - You wanna switch? - Yeah, you can do some.
好的 Okay.
等一下 让我再装上几袋糖 Well, let me just do a few more bags.
你继续 You keep up the...
你再发点糖 然后我们就换 You do a few and then we'll switch.
不给糖就捣蛋 Trick or treat.
-你多大啦？-13岁 - How old are you? - Thirteen.
-13岁？-是的 - Thirteen? - Yeah.
你看起来更像是16岁甚至17岁 You look more like 16 or maybe even 17.
- 不 我们13岁 - 你能给我们一点糖么？拜托了 - No, we're 13. - Can we just have our candy, please?
你们的万圣服装呢？ Where's your costumes?
我在假装我的姐姐 这就是我的万圣装 I'm being my sister. This is my costume.
- 我是个老师 - 你是个老师呀 - I'm a teacher. - You're a teacher.
喔 我想在你的课堂找个位置 Wow, I would like to get my seat in your class.
- 你有糖果么？-你好 - You got candy? - Hello.
是 我不这么认为 Yeah, I don't think so.
- 你在搞笑么？- 这是万圣节哎 - You kidding? - It's Halloween.
嗯 我知道 这并不意味着你你们有权到别人家中去 Yeah, I know. Doesn't mean you're entitled to go around to people's homes...
然后从他们那里诈骗糖果 and bilk them out of candy.
- 你是在开玩笑么 - 是的 - Are you kidding? - Yeah.
混蛋！艹！ Asshole! Fuck you!
糟了 Shit.
你能相信眼前的一切么？ Can you believe this?
那些姑娘们 Those girls.
是呀 他们为什么这么干？ Yeah, why would they do something like that?
原因是我没有给她们糖果 Because I didn't give them candy, that's why.
你就站在放糖碗的旁边 You're standing at the door with a bowl of candy.
为什么你不能 Why can't you...
因为我认为17岁的孩子没有穿万圣服装 Because I don't think 17-year-old girls with no costume on...
- 你不应该允许... - 谁在乎呢？ - You shouldn't be allowed... - Who cares?
他们只是用万圣节来拿糖！ They were just using Halloween to get candy!
谁在乎呢？这是万圣节 给他们糖就是了 Who cares? It's Halloween, just give them candy.
你以假期为名只是为满足自己的私欲？ You just use the holiday for your own selfish purposes?
所以呢？所以你宁愿让他们用厕纸缠满房子？ So what? So you'd rather have them toilet-paper your house?
我不知道这会变成"不给糖就犯罪" I didn't know that it was gonna be "felony or treat."
我不认为这个捣蛋可以延伸到重罪 I didn't think the trick extended to felony.
给她们一些糖你会死么？ Why would it kill you to just give them a few pieces of candy?
我不明白 I don't understand that.
因为这里必须有一些限制 Because there's gotta be some kind of cut-offs...
- 区分万圣节和工作 - 你和你的限制是要怎样？ - for Halloween to work. - What is it with you and your cut-offs?
还有你的"不应该有"和"应该有"？ 谁在乎呢？ And your "shouldn't there be" and "should there be"? Who cares?
四十岁还去参加"不给糖就捣蛋"么？ Trick-or-treating at 40?
免费糖果 我四十岁了 我想要免费糖果 Free candy, l'm 40 years old, l want free candy!
并不是每个人都了解你的规则 Not everybody knows your rules.
你有很多的条条框框并且你认为每个人都要拥护它们 You got a set of rules and you think everyone's gonna adhere to them...
可是不是的 因为没有人了解它们 but they're not, because nobody knows them.
你有一整天的时间去清理你面前的一切 You have a long day of cleaning ahead of you.
我要一个人打扫这里么？ I'm gonna clean it up by myself?
你是要一个人清理这里了 这是谁的错？ You're gonna clean this up by yourself. Whose fault is this?
我要报警 I'm gonna call the police.
秃头混蛋
所以他们没有穿万圣服饰？ So they had no costumes?
是的 他们没有穿万圣装 出于一些原因 这很让他很生气 Right, they had no costumes, and for some reason, that really upset him.
你确定她们没有穿万圣服装？ You sure there were no costumes?
因为有的时候他们可能是很微妙的服饰 'Cause sometimes they can be very subtle costumes.
不他们穿的不微妙 她们就没穿万圣服饰 No they weren't subtle at all. There were no costumes.
他们只是在周边的一家一户要糖果 They were just going around from house to house for candy.
有没有可能找到这些女孩 也许可以和她们的父母谈谈？ Is it possible to find these girls and maybe talk to their parents?
根据你的形容"黑色头发 20岁" By your descriptions, "dark hair, 20 years old"...
我认为可能有一万人符合你的描述 l mean, there's 10,000 kids who could fit that description.
有一点埃尔维拉风 她看起来像埃尔维拉 It was sort of Elvira-ish. She looked like Elvira.
所以她还是做了一点点打扮 So she was kind of in a little bit of costume there.
埃尔维拉相关的饰物 The Elvira thing.
不 那并不是万圣服饰 No, that wasn't a costume.
我只是用埃尔维拉来形容她 说完了 I'm just using Elvira to describe her. That's all.
那只是一种方法 类似于速记 It's just a way to... lt's a shorthand.
她们敲了门 她们说"不给糖就捣蛋"？ They knocked on the door, they said, "Trick or treat"?
- 是呀 - 然后你招待了她们 - Yeah. - And you had treats.
是的 Yes.
那一晚上都在发糖 I was giving out candy all night.
但是我没有给她们糖果 她们不配 But I don't have to give them candy, they don't deserve candy...
然而我也不应被叫"秃顶混蛋" and I don't deserve this. "Bald asshole"?
这是一起仇恨犯罪 我们是一个集体 一个群体 That's a hate crime. We're a set, we're a group.
你不能叫我们秃顶混蛋 You can't call us bald assholes.
如果我是同性恋呢？是不是就变成"同性恋混蛋"？ What if I were gay? Would that be "gay asshole"?
这是仇恨犯罪 That's a hate crime.
但是这里写了"秃顶混蛋" But it says "bald asshole."
我们给自己贴上群体标签 But we consider ourselves a group of people.
先生 我是秃头 我并没有觉得被冒犯 Sir, l'm bald, l'm not offended.
恕我直言 伯德警员 你不算秃头 With all due respect, Officer Byrd, you are not bald.
你选择把头发剃光 You have chosen to shave your hair.
这样你的形象看起来很时尚 That's a look you're cultivating to be fashionable...
恕我直言 我不认为你属于秃头那类人 and we don't consider you part of the bald community. With all due respect.
她们通过任何方式威胁你了么？你见到任何武器了么？ Did they threaten you in any way? Did you see weapons of any kind?
不 除了"捣蛋"威胁之外 没有其他形式的威胁 No, there was no threat, except for the "trick" threat.
- 什么叫做捣蛋威胁？- 不给糖就捣蛋 - What's the trick threat? - The trick or treat.
"没有糖？捣蛋" "No treat? Trick."
那就是威胁 这种捣蛋可以延伸到什么地步？ It's a threat. How far can you take these tricks?
- 如果是其他的夜晚 - 不给糖就捣蛋 嘣嘣！ - If it was any other night... - Trick or treat, bang-bang!
但那是万圣小把戏 在万圣节前夕 我们让孩子们放松 But it's trick or treat. We cut the kids a little slack on Halloween.
当你打开那扇门时 你就默认了一种社会契约 It's kind of a social contract you enter when you open that door.
她们说"不给糖就捣蛋" 我给你的建议是 给她们糖 They say, "Trick or treat," l would advise you, give the treat.
你为什么不下次给他们糖果呢 拉里？ Why don't you give them the candy next time, Larry?
即使在万圣节 我也不会被吓倒 I will not be intimidated. Even on Halloween.
你打高尔夫么？ Are you playing golf?
今天么？不 我昨天打了 Today? No, I played yesterday.
为什么你穿成这样？ What are you doing dressed like that?
我喜欢这套衣服 我喜欢它的样子 I like the outfit. I like the way it looks.
是呀 但是这是高尔夫套装 有一点 Yeah, but it's a golf outfit. It's sort of...
不一定是打高尔夫球 没事不能穿吗？ 这是一件衬衫 Doesn't have to be just golf. You can't walk around? It's a shirt.
- 你穿这个不错 - 别人也这么说 - It looks good on you. - That's what people tell me.
- 所以也许 - 人们说得对 - So maybe... - People are right.
明天想打高尔夫么？ Wanna play tomorrow?
事实上我去不了 那是谢丽儿的生日 I actually can't. It's Cheryl's birthday.
所以 So...
然而为什么你不行？ And why can't you?
我难道不需要和她一起过生日或做点别的么？ Don't I have to spend her birthday with her or something?
大清早的 有什么关系？她是婴儿吗？ Early in the morning, what does it matter? Is she a baby?
她多大了 五岁还是六岁？ How old is she, 5 or 6 years old?
- 也许你是对的 - 你带她出去吃晚饭 - Maybe you're right. - You're taking her out for dinner.
对 我不用一整天都在她身边 Yeah, I don't have to chained to her the whole day.
- 为什么我们不能打高尔夫？-我会在早上过来的 - Why can't we play golf? - I'll come by in the morning.
无论如何 我还没有去过你家 I haven't seen the house yet, anyhow.
棒 我们明天打球 你明天上场 Great. We'll play. You're on for tomorrow.
- 也不是宗教假期 - 不是 - Not a religious holiday... - No.
让我们来谈谈杰森亚历山大的事情吧 Let's talk about the Jason Alexander thing.
现在什么情况？ What's going on?
我是受够了 结束了 I'm done with it. It's over.
就因为他不肯开车去你办公室整件事就完了？ He didn't wanna drive to your office and the whole thing's off?
我去了两次他的办公室 但是他从来没来过我的 I went to his office twice, he never came to mine.
这只是...原谅我说的 这完全是扯淡 This is just... Excuse my language, this is completely fucked.
太差劲了 这是一个好主意 It's too bad. It was a great idea.
我听说茱莉亚在找项目 I heard that Julia is looking for a project.
如果你问我的话 你可以和她做同样的项目 And if you ask me, you can do the exact same project with her.
事实上 Actually...
在她身上也说得通 it could really work with her.
她确实与伊莲存在同样的问题 She does have the exact same problem with Elaine.
人们总是把她当作伊莲 人们只是想让她做伊莲 People always see her as Elaine. They just want her to do Elaine.
我需要做的 也是一样的事情 All I got to do... lt's the same thing.
然而我知道她一直在寻找一个节目 And I know she's been looking for a show.
- 我要去联系茱莉亚 - 太好了 - I'm gonna call Julia. - Great.
拉里 穿成这样开完会了 Larry. Gotta quit meeting like this.
所以 可以问一些事情么？ So, can I ask you something?
- 高尔夫打的怎么样？- 我没打高尔夫呀 唐纳德 - How's the golf? - I didn't play golf, Donald.
"我没打高尔夫！"看看你的衬衫 "I don't play golf." Look at that shirt.
我只是穿了衬衫 我喜欢这件衣服 I'm just wearing a shirt. I like this shirt.
人只有打高尔夫才会这么穿 Nobody wears a shirt like that unless they're gonna golf.
我喜欢这件衬衫 我穿这件衣服受到很多赞美 I like this shirt. I get a lot of compliments on this outfit.
好吧 如果是这样的 那就这样吧 Fine, if that's the way it's gonna be, so be it.
不 它不是你以为的那样 我喜欢这些衣服 No, it's not the way it's gonna be. I like the clothes.
你不用只在打高尔夫时这么穿 You don't have to just wear them on the golf course.
你令我恶心 You're sick.
你可以穿衣服 这些衣服不... You can wear clothes, these clothes don't...
别说了 Stop it.
雪莱？ Shelley?
雪莱不在这儿 Shelley's not here.
- 嗨 克里夫 - 你在干什么？ - Hey, Cliff. - What are you doing?
我需要她帮我做的那条手链 I need the bracelet that she made for me.
是呀 手链 Yeah, the bracelet.
嗯 我老婆明天生日 所以 Yeah, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow. So...
嗯 是的 你老婆的生日 Yeah, yeah, your wife's birthday.
忘了那条手链吧 拉里 Forget the bracelet, Larry.
这里不会有任何手链 没有手链 我知道发生了什么 There isn't gonna be any bracelet. No bracelet, I know what's going on.
- 你知道发生了什么 - 我知道发生了什么 - You know what's going on. - I know what's going on.
你以为我没长眼睛么？ You think I don't have eyes?
我没瞎 弄清楚好吗？我的眼睛能看见 I'm not blind. Get it straight, all right? My eyes work.
- 你他妈的在说什么？- 我在说什么？ - What the hell are you talking about? - What am I talking about?
我说的是你和雪莱的膝间小游戏 I'm talking about the little knee game with Shelley.
我说的是你用胳膊靠近她的脖子 你被抓包了 I'm talking about the arm over the neck. You're busted.
哦 是的 我被抓包了 Oh, yeah, l'm busted.
她在餐厅告诉我了 你对她提出了非分的要求 She told me in the restaurant, you propositioned her.
那是餐桌上开的玩笑 好么？ I was joking around at the table, okay?
而且她有可能把我的话当真了 And she probably took me seriously.
她当真了 我也当真了 She did take it seriously, l'm taking it seriously, too.
我在开玩笑 因为你们一直在说话 I was joking around 'cause you guys were talking...
我想看看你们是不是注意到了 and I wanted to see if you were paying attention.
你甚至没有听到我说这个 You didn't even hear me say that.
原来朋友是这么开玩笑的 一个朋友和另一个朋友开玩笑 So that's how friends joke around. One friend jokes with the other friend.
"我去叫他的老婆和我上床" 你就是这么开玩笑的么？ "Let me ask his wife to screw me." That's how you joke around?
等一下 你穿的是什么鬼 Wait a second. What the hell are you wearing?
- 什么？- 这是高尔夫球服 - What? - Those are golf clothes.
- 我今天没有打高尔夫 - 你说你没去 - I didn't golf today. - You said you weren't golfing.
- 那你为什么穿成这样？- 我喜欢球服的样子 - Why are you wearing those clothes? - I like the way they look.
你期望我会相信你说的？ You expect me to believe that?
是的 他们看起来不错 大家夸我啦 Yeah, they look good. People compliment me.
- 这看起来并不好 -我现在都掖进去穿了！ - They don't look good! - I'm tucking in now!
我看的到 你个骗子！ I can see. You're a liar, man!
- 我是骗子？- 你这个两面派 暗箭伤人的骗子 - I'm a liar? - You're a two-faced, backstabbing liar.
我怎么现在才发现 I'm just realizing this now.
- 现在你都看清楚了 - 是的 - It's all coming crystal clear now? - Yeah.
我是一个给周围人说... I'm the guy who goes around telling people...
"我的祖父发明了科布沙拉" that "my grandfather invented the Cobb salad"!
- 那是真的 -这么做的是我吗？ - That's true. - That's me who does that?
那是真的 That's true.
我的朋友 科布沙拉是1937年 The Cobb salad, my friend, was invented in 1937...
布朗德比餐厅的鲍勃科布发明的 by Bob Cobb at the Brown Derby!
那个王八蛋从我祖父那里偷走了沙拉配方 That son of a bitch stole that salad from my grandfather.
- 扯淡！- 你是在说我的祖父骗人么？ - Bullshit! - And you call my grandfather a liar?
你死定了 你这个王八蛋！ You're dead, you son of a bitch!
科布沙拉是1937年 It was invented in 1937...
布朗德比餐厅的鲍勃科布发明的 by Bob Cobb in the Brown Derby Restaurant.
他想说什么呀？我证据确凿啊 What's he gonna say? I had him dead to rights.
哦 天呀 我一会给你打回去 Oh, my God. I gotta call you back.
嗨 埃尔维拉 Hey, Elvira.
某个怪人要跟我说话 我一会给你打回去 Some fucking weirdo is trying to talk to me. I'll call you back.
- 嗨 埃尔维拉 - 你他妈要干啥？ - Hey, Elvira! - What the fuck do you want?
"我他妈"？这是一个13岁的孩子该说的话么 "What the fuck"? That's some language for a 13-year-old girl.
- 印象深刻？-是的 难以忘怀 - Impressive? - Very impressive. Yes.
你昨晚过的好么？ Did you have a good time last night?
额？我想和你的家长谈谈 Yeah? I'd like to talk to your parents.
- 他们不在家 - 他们不在家么？ - They're not home. - They're not home?
是的 他们不在 还有什么能帮您的么？ No, they're not. Can I help you with anything?
我怀疑你家长在家 否则你不会出来抽烟 I suspect they are. Or you wouldn't be out here smoking.
- 不 我只是顾及家人 - 你会么？ - No, I have respect for the household. - Do you?
嗯 我觉得你会 Yeah, l'll bet you do.
拉里大卫！ Larry David!
你怎么来我们这个犹太家庭了？ What brings you to our Jewish home?
很好 很好 现在这一切都讲得通了 Well, well, now it all makes perfect sense.
- 什么完全讲的通？- 她是你的女儿 - What makes perfect sense? - This is your daughter.
是的 她是我的女儿 Yes, this is my daughter.
我认为你应该对你女儿昨晚做了什么很感兴趣 I think you might be interested in knowing that your daughter, last night...
向我家扔鸡蛋 用厕纸贴我房子 threw eggs at my house, papered my house with toilet paper...
在我家门上写着"秃头混蛋" wrote "bald asshole" on my door.
扯淡 Bullshit.
向他的房子扔鸡蛋并且放... Threw eggs at his house and put...
- 不 她说了不 - 他疯了 - No, she says no. - He's crazy.
- 她是个骗子 - 她才不是 - She's a liar. - She's not a liar.
不 你这个骗子 你是人类中的骗子 No, you're a liar. You're a liar as a human being.
- 开始了 - 我听说过克里夫和他老婆的事情 - Here we go. - I heard about Cliff and his wife.
是么？ Did you?
我听说你想和她一起睡觉 I heard about you trying to sleep around with her.
给你的族裔抹黑 你为人就这样！ A disgrace to your people. That's what you are!
心里测量仪又要乱跳了 The psycho-meter's back on now.
邮递员！来这边！告诉邻居们！ Postman! Come here! Tell the neighborhood!
拉里大卫是多大的耻辱 What a shanda Larry David is.
你不仅是一个差劲的犹太人 你不配生而为人！ Not only are you a lousy Jew, but you're a lousy human being!
他和一个坐轮椅男人的老婆有染！ He screws the wife of a man in a wheelchair!
耻辱！ A shanda!
也许你应该给我糖的！ Maybe you should have given me some candy!
你这个差劲的犹太人！ You're a lousy Jew!
哦 老天啊！ Oh, my God!
生日快乐！ Happy birthday.
拉里！ Larry!
- 先出去 我一会... -怎么了？ - Get out. I'll... - What's going on?
我会见你的 在外面等一下 I'll meet you. Wait outside.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
我忘了 我们本应去打高尔夫的 I forgot. We were supposed to play golf.
你今天不能去 You can't play golf today.
- 这是我生日唉 - 我和他都计划好了 - It's my birthday. - I made a plan with him.
- 你需要去摆平他 - 好的吧 - You need to get rid of him. - Okay, all right.
我们应该在十分钟之内开球的 We're supposed to be on the tee in 10 minutes.
你进来之前不应该要敲门的吗？ Don't you knock before you come in?
我敲了 并且敲了有一阵了 I did knock. I've been knocking for a while.
好的 安静下来 Okay, quiet.
这是怎么回事？ What's going on?
那个女人没有给我项链 所以我需要想点别的办法 That woman didn't give me the bracelet, so I had to come up with something.
- 我想到了这个 - 很棒棒呀 - I came up with this. - That's nice.
不准去 No.
我去不了 I can't do it.
你知道我做了什么吗？ You know what I went through?
你知道我休息一天要费多大劲吗？ You have any idea what it takes for me to take a day off?
你有什么主意吗？ Do you have any idea?
什么？拜托 What? Come on!
也许我能打半场 等一下 Maybe I can play nine. Hold on.
- 我能打半场么？ - 不行 - Can I play nine? - No, come on.
我打不了了 I can't do it.
拜托 赶紧离开 Come on, just go.
可以打六个洞么？ How about six?
翻译:744 校对:白羽黑鹭 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net